The Dinosaur Clarifies - SMUFs and Drip Tubing

The second-to-last time I discovered problems with the SMUFs (small mammals underfoot), I replaced my new soaker hose with fresh hose. That was so exhausting it wasn't until the following week that with the weather's help (two drops hit me) I was able to use the tractor to deposit dirt to bury said drip hose away from SMUFs. When I returned from a week's effort of making money from the Rechtel partnership where I'm employed, that is ripping off the tax payers, I found a dead plant, and many holes in the buried tubing. For the non-technical readers, one week is 7 days x 24 hours x 60 minutes x 60 seconds equals 604,800 seconds. I only observed 580,028 bites in the tubing, so either the SMUFs weren't fully engaged in their task, or maybe a Red-Tail or bobcat made an appearance.The next obvious step is to connect a PLC to an IR sensor and then to some miniature Claymores. That can't happen until I get the water tanks in operation to limit the damage from the ensuing conflagration.

Small bamboo whip traps might also be employed.

Now if the gentle readers are aghast, I'm a kind and benevolent soul and have no quibble with what the critters (this doesn't include pigs) do with the remaining 99.8% of our land.

(Note from Praying Horse: photo is Reggie, the famous ground squirrel, aka a SMUF. Since he lives a mile away from us, we are certain he is not the perpetrator.)